Divorce is a difficult situation that many couples find themselves having to endure. If a couple decides that a divorce is the best way to resolve their differences, there are a few steps that must be taken.
The legal steps towards divorce are simple:
Step 1: File for a Divorce Petition
Any party wishing to seek a divorce must first ask for permission from the court.
Step 2: Apply for a Decree Nisi
A decree nisi is a document that states that the court does not see any reason why a couple shouldn’t be able to seek a divorce.
Step 3: Apply for a Decree Absolute
A decree absolute is the final document that ends a marriage.
The complex and emotional steps to divorce are more difficult. Things you must consider and discuss in order to make clean break include the following.
Decide Why You Are Getting a Divorce
This is a trickier step than it may seem. The best thing to do towards amicably divorcing would be to see things from both sides. You may know why you want a divorce, but try to see why your spouse may want a divorce, too. Or, in cases where your spouse doesn’t want a divorce, try to see where they are coming from. You do not have to agree, but respecting their perspective will help make the process easier on both of you.
This step applies to many aspects of the divorce, such as who may appear at fault. If both parties can try to recognise their contributions to how a divorce is now a possibility, it will go a long way towards cooperation.
Think of the Divorce From the Perspective of Your Children
If it is hard to think compassionately towards someone who you are seeking to divorce, it may be easier to see the situation from the perspective of your children (if you have them). It is best to see what will be best for the children. From this angle, it may be easier to avoid divorce based on grudges or retaliation.
Bring in a Third Party, Such as a Mediator
Before going to court, or dragging out the fight, sometimes it’s best to bring in a professional to help you come to a reasonable resolution. A third party will keep the conversation on track, and since they do not have vested interests in either party winning or losing, the result that they suggest could be closer to what both of you want.
It is best to avoid seeking a divorce in the spirit of retaliation. There can be a lot of anger or pain that is associated with divorcing a partner, so anything to avoid stoking a further emotional fire is recommended. If a divorce doesn’t seem possible without dissolving into heated emotion, then it is certainly advised that a mediator is sought.
Of course, a lot goes into a divorce, including the distribution of assets and the complete change in life as it once was. However, respect, putting the needs of family first, and mediation are great steps to take. Remember that the goal with divorce is to have a future where both people feel they will be better able to grow and be happy, and not to use divorce as a weapon to harm each other. There are ways to make the road to divorce less painful, and knowing when to see both sides, cooperate, and restrain emotions (especially key when dealing with children and assets), will make your divorce more amicable.